Two different periods without television played a key role in shaping my life. During the first one, I came to appreciate reading and books. In the second, I gained an appreciation for the power of writing.


My parent’s, both raised in the Amish tradition, saw no place for television in our home for the first twelve years of my life. Then my mother’s capitulation to my older sisters’ wishes brought a large, 21 inch RCA, ( all TV was black and white back then), into the living room. Not enamored with Lawrence Welk, Dinah Shore, and the genre of variety shows, I began to find other places to hibernate in the more fascinating worlds of the Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, and later Sherlock Holmes.


Unlike the melodrama of my own family life or television soap operas, the drama of these books actually led somewhere. Information was uncovered; the drama ended with resolution of tensions and mystery between characters.

 By the time I finished grade school, I had read all the Hardy boys and Nancy Drew mysteries that had been written at that time. In high school, (as distinguished from grade school. There was no “junior high school), I discovered a volume of The Complete Sherlock Holmes in our high school library. Because the librarian allowed me to keep renewing the book so long as no other student wanted it, I was able to read the entire series in the course of a year.

The reading of these mysteries cemented my lifelong friendship with books and my fascination with human behavior. Halfway through college, I decided studying human behavior was imminently more fascinating than chemical processes in the lab.

Later, when a marital separation came, I moved into my rental house, choosing to leave television behind. While remodeling this house over the next 16 months, without the distraction of any television, I wrote intensely. A habit of daily journal writing emerged; a daily ritual that continues to this day some 15 years later. By now, I have accumulated several Rubbermaid boxes of journals in addition to my shelves of books.

Much of wisdom is born of experience. But, having enough knowledge to make use of one’s experiences so that these experiences become wisdom, and not a sense of victimhood, or helplessness, makes a big difference. Knowing the difference between the good drama of our lives and the melodrama cycles of soap opera lives helps us take our lives on some meaningful or creative pathway.

 Reading helpful, inspirational books, or writing the deep, raw truth that lies within, or sharing in deep dialogue with someone we trust -– any of these paths –- ( and you get to choose)  can bring maturity, understanding and richness to our lives and relationships.

Most of us see ourselves as good, kind, compassionate persons.  We do not see ourselves as deliberately doing harm to others, particularly those with whom we have some relationship.  This is true for the people who come to the office for help with a dilemma that has them at a crossroad of their life. Those who work in the healing professions find this a particularly perplexing quandary.


Even as we care deeply for others in our lives,  we are faced with this double bind.
We feel a need to grow.
We want to go where life offers joy,  fulfillment and aliveness.
We want to go where our creativity and talents can find an arena of expression.
Most of all, we want to take our lives on a path with meaning, purpose and direction.


Yet, if we are to follow the path of our own development,
We may disappoint others.
We may not live up to the expectations of others.
We may not fulfill the commitments we have made to others
We may even leave others behind.


Notable writers, psychiatrists, and psychologists have written volumes on our needs for "self actualization" or for  "individuation".   We support and applaud the development of children and adolescents as they grow through stages. We even take for granted they may inadvertently hurt those they love while finding their chosen path.  We assume it is all a part of the unfolding of life's drama .


Not so with adults. We assume we as adults should know better. We assume adults will make choices that will no bring disappointment or even pain to those around us.  Yet, this dilemma of our needs for creative expression and relationships may require some of the most difficult choices we face.


We as adults, as well as our relationships, need creative growth. Balancing these two may give us growing pains.  Piloting our way through such dilemmas with grace requires faith and some guidance.


But, it is the stuff from which wisdom is born.

Beside my computer sits a small book. It's Never Too Late by Patrick Lindsay has a hundred small changes we can make each day toward feeling more alive and with a greater sense of direction.
It's never too late...
- to find and old friend.
- to write.
- to do something you love.


I keep it there to remind me, even at my age, it is never too late to do, say or write what I need to.


Today, is Father's day; a day to remember our fathers and what they have contributed to our lives. For centuries, a father's function was to teach us the survival skills for making our way in this world. Somehow, the world we live in is not the world of our fathers.  Hopefully, what they have given us is some of the wisdom of living that serves us in many situations.


My father was a carpenter. My grandfather was an Amish farmer. I live in neither of these worlds. I work in an office. Yet, it was their approach toward life and work that I put into my own way of life.


For most of us, we can remember the good and the not so good moments with our fathers.  So it is with most of our relationships.  What makes our lives meaningful is that we cherish what has helped us.  We say "Thank You".   And we leave behind any pain or regrets.  To carry these along is what we call baggage.


Today, we can leave that behind.


Today, we can focus on what we cherish,  not only in our Fathers, but in all our relationships.


It's Never Too Late.......

At least two times a month, someone asks me for an evaluation  as to whether they or their child has ADD or ADHD.   In addition, the subject often comes up when ever I meet someone new out of the office and they find out my profession.


Here are some of my favorite questions to ask adults that gives some hints as to whether or they may have this ADD condition.
1. What does the inside of your vehicle look like?   Clean or messy?
2. What does your work space look like?
3. In school, was there a wide difference between your ability to do math or reading subjects?
4. Are you exceptionally good at something?   Sports, mechanics, computers, music, art,  etc, things that involve good reflexes, good handeye coordination, balance, etc.
5, How well do small children or animals come to you?
6. How many addictive habits to you have?
7. What are the things in your life that you have a tendency to overdo.?
8. Do you have speeding tickets?
9. Does someone in your family tree have a history of mood disorders, addictive habits, or a series of jobs or personal relationships.
10. How quickly do you forget lists of things?  


These questions are only the first ones that give me a clue as to what to ask next or if a full assessment is needed.   If you know someone who fits this criteria,  they may have ADD.  

My astrologer friends tell me that this week, Tuesday in particular, is a good time to look for new insights and ideas to come to us.
So I share this with the hope that you will be vigilant for some intuitive insights that may be worth noting and writing down for later review.